I LOVE YOU, YOU'RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE

Grunion Gazette by Anne-Marie Otey
Growing Up in the androgynous '80s and nihilistic '90s, my peers and I didn't think of dating a war between the sexes. We were looking for someone pretty similar to us, an individual, not an emissary from some wierd, opposite gender.

Now, that hope has been dashed. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is the motto. A coors commercial shows a girl innocently asking her boyfriend what he did last night. Turns out is was everything short of hiring a hooker - but he just shrugs and says, "Oh nothing." Radio DJ Tom Leykis negotiates relations between the sexes that are so hostile, Colin Powell should take him on his next trip to the Middle East. it's the 1950's all over again.

In this cynical atmosphere, a musical like "I Love You, You're Perfect, now Change" can flourish. The Off-Broadway hit is funny, fast moving and well produced by Musical Theatre West at the Carpenter Performing Arts Center. But to truly love it, you'll have to subscribe to at least some of its beliefs.

It's not hard to identify with the show, by Joe DiPietro and Jimmy Roberts, which is cleverly organized into short musical skits. They portray all the stages of contemporary romance, from first dates to the courting that takes place among the elderly at funeral homes. In between, there's parental meddling, skirmishes wit6h obnoxious offspring, and prize moments, like when a guy actually calls woman he's dating to say "hello."

In that number, receiving the call occaisons the dating equavalent of a tickertape parade. Oru lucky woman dresses up in a red cape and tiara, and hoists a trophy made out of a phone. With this exaggerated sense of humor, making fun of life's every day occaisoins, "I Love You..." elicits plenty of "I've been there" giggles.

In a skit at a Chinese restaurant, a man tests his date's IQ by quizzing her on that modern classic, "Caddyshack." Meanwhile, in the next booth, Stud #2 bores his date with his soliloquy on engineering.

As the "Caddyshack" guy imitates the gopher by sticking chopsticks in his head, both women get up and leave, predicting they'll end their days in a "feline shrine" with 29 cats.

Lyrics that propel the situations in "I Love You..." beyond the everyday to the exceptional. "My friends can't assess a man - or a dress," one bridesmaid notes as she clomps around the stage in curtain-worthy taffeta.

The cast is just four actors, who play many different roles and transform themselves with a prop or a mannerism. Tami Tappan Damiano is the standout, with a sweet, strong voice. Lance Roberts is the quintessential clown, and Stan Chandler is Everyguy. Susan Hoffman is the most versatile, ranging from a sweatpants-clad mom to an elegant widow. The set, dominated by a big cutout heart, is simple but effective. The music is mainly a vehicle for the lyrics, and played with a light touch by pianist Diane king Vann and violinist Etsuo Ejiri.

Playing through May 5. Call 430-2324 for curtain times and tickets.